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Welcome to my blog!

Aaron Ignites Connection is a blog that publishes development content for leaders and speakers whose goal is to improve connection with diverse teams, communities, and audiences.

I’ll share lessons learned, tips, best practices, and bite sized “food for thought” articles inspired from my time working with and leading diverse teams and giving speeches.

Ultimately, I hope to provide insight that will help you better connect with others on your teams, in your communities, or with your audiences.

“Connection is why we’re here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives”

Brene Brown

The Importance of a Word

“A very great part of the mischiefs that vex this world arises from words”

— Edmund Burke.

I’ve been leading small teams for roughly ten years, and one of the more important lessons I’ve learned is that WORDS MATTER.

How much time and energy have we seen squandered because of miscommunication? How often has this miscommunication been caused by one or two simple words? Lack of clear communication can cause us to venture down paths we don’t need to venture down, chase issues where there are no issues, and try to solve problems where there are no problems. We end up spending time creating courses of action that we don’t even need to develop—all because of miscommunication. Does this sound familiar?

Make your best effort to be mindful and detailed when communicating with your team. Take time to ensure that you are understood. Remember, once you’ve spoken, those words are no longer yours. Your statements are subject to the perception and interpretation of the people you communicate with, so you must find ways to figure out if these individuals are accurately receiving your message.

Here are three strategies you can use to limit miscommunication:

  • Be clear, concise, and as direct as possible. If the goal is to direct or get others to take action, limit the amount of “fluff” and unnecessary words. Be straightforward.
  • Encourage feedback from your team. You can even ask the team to repeat what you said to ensure they understand your intent.
  • Consider how you should communicate your message to your team or audience. This is where “what” you want to say meets “how” you need to say it. Consider tone, body language, and pace. You’d be surprised at how often we send mixed messages because our words say one thing while our body language and tone say another.

Own Your Speaking Style

Are you hesitant to speak at professional events because you don’t have a speaking style similar to John C. Maxwell or Tony Robbins? If that is the case, consider this…


Not all public speakers are the same and not all audiences prefer the same style of speaker. Some audiences prefer transparency, simplicity, and speakers who speak in a manner familiar to their demographic over the polished corporate style that has historically dominated the field. Additionally, those who speak in a non-traditional style can connect with demographics that are not the usual target in mainstream speaking. Two examples of this include Eric Thomas and Inky Johnson. Eric and Inky have carved out a niche in the speaking world. It’s common to see them speak at Fortune 500 companies, high schools, higher education institutions, the National Football League (NFL), National Basketball Association (NBA), and major college sports programs. Understand that you can be successful and effective even if you don’t fit the traditional speaker mold.


Check out the speakers below and see if you can spot the differences in their styles.

Dr. Eric Thomas (E.T.)
Simon Sinek
Inky Johnson (starts speaking at 1:00 mark)
Tony Robbins

Speakers come in various styles. Identify your style, own it, and work on it.

Generation Z & Intercultural Communication in The Workplace

These are a few stats about Gen Z that emphasize how important intercultural communication will be as the generation continues to enter the workforce. 

Gen Z values companies, employers, and teams who are capable of communicating with each other regardless of background, age, race, ethnicity, religious preference, etc. As they make their way into your teams specifically, consider taking an inventory of your team’s intercultural competence and communication. It could help prevent miscommunication and unnecessary conflict which could cut into your teams effectiveness.

*It’s essential to add that you shouldn’t assume this applies to everyone born in Gen Z. You must still consider an individual’s personality, values, and beliefs when identifying one’s communication style. 

Intercultural Communication Defined

Intercultural Communication: Communication between at least two individuals who are from different cultures.

It’s important to note the difference in culture between two individuals can be in their overarching culture or microculture, frequently referred to as subculture. For example, two people can be members of American society and share the same overarching culture. However, each person may belong to different microcultures (i.e., social groups, religions, regions of the country, etc.).

It’s common for a microculture to have its own vernacular or communication style that differs from the overarching culture, even though they share the same language.

A Brief Thought: Incorporating Personal Experience Into Your Speech

One key element of crafting a resonating speech is incorporating your personal experiences, stories, and emotions. This will help you to relate to the audience. The challenge in doing this is you may feel the temptation to make it all about you. Remember, your focus should be on the audience.

Comedians may use their experiences to get laughs out of the crowd, but their focus is on the audience.

Songwriters write their best lyrics by drawing emotion from their experiences. Still, the focus is on the listener.

Poets connect most effectively when writing poems about their emotions. And yet, they focus on the reader.

Be authentic, but don’t lose focus. Shared experience helps us connect.

“I’m writing my story so that others might see fragments of themselves.”

– Lena Waithe

Robert Kennedy, an Impromptu Eulogy, and The Power of Empathy in Public Speaking

Empathy is “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.” Or, as writer Robert Greene stated when addressing a crowd of Google employees in June 2019, empathy is “basically the ability to get inside the perspective and point of view of other people, to literally see inside how other people are seeing the world.” Some view it as an essential skill to be a leader in today’s world. Others view it as a “buzzword” that companies use to prove they’re on board with the new school style of managing and nothing more. Regardless of opinion, empathy is a tool that can be used effectively by speakers, especially when addressing a diverse audience. You may not share a similar background, ethnicity, gender, age range, etc. You may not be able to relate completely, but you can always empathize. Here are three ways to empathize with your audience.

  1. Talk to individuals from the demographics represented. The key here is to ensure you’re actively listening. It would be best if you tried to hear what the individual is telling you regardless of whether you agree with what they’re saying. Don’t be afraid to ask questions to increase your understanding.
  2. Take some time and see if you can put yourself in your audience’s shoes. Putting yourself in the audience’s shoes is great after you’ve talked to individuals from your audiences demographics. Genuinely think about how you would feel if you were in their situation. Ask yourself what you would want and need to hear. If you want to know whether you’re on the right track, go back and talk to the individuals from the different demographics in your audience.
  3. Don’t be afraid to share a personal story that will help you relate to the crowd but remember, the focus of the message should be on the audience, not you. If this action is done right, it will help you relate to the audience. It will enable you to build an emotional connection. In the speaking world, we call this establishing “pathos.” It is one of the most valuable things a speaker can do.

One of the most remarkable displays of empathizing is Robert Kennedy’s address to a predominately African American crowd on April 4, 1968, in Indianapolis, several hours after Dr. Martin Luther King was assassinated. Kennedy was initially scheduled to deliver a campaign speech but changed course after finding out aboutDr. King’s assassination.

Robert Kennedy, who hailed from a wealthy family of Irish-American descent, was able to empathize with his audience who were predominately working and lower-class African Americans during a time when emotions were running high.

  • The family member Robert Kennedy refers to in the speech below is John F. Kennedy. This speech was Robert Kennedy’s first time publicly addressing his brother’s assassination, which made Kennedy’s statement much more powerful. It had been over five years since the assassination occurred.
  • 1:20 – 3:00 is where Kennedy begins empathizing with his audience.
History Channel (YouTube)

Click Here for a transcript of Robert Kennedy’s remarks.

Did you notice anything else about Robert Kennedy’s remarks?

How can you incorporate empathy into your next speech or presentation?

Before You Speak — Understanding Delivery Methods

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock with no smartphone, television, or other 21st-century technology, you’ve probably seen a speaker give a speech. This could’ve been a religious leader delivering a sermon, a politician addressing constituents, celebrities giving commencement speeches, non-profit leaders addressing the community, or simply Johnny from down the street speaking at a town hall meeting. You may not have noticed the different methods these speakers used to address their audience. Suppose you intend to speak to an audience. In that case, you must decide which form of delivery you’ll use before you begin drafting your speech since this will help determine how you’ll prepare for your speech.

There are 4 standard methods for delivering speeches. They are extemporaneous, impromptu, memorized, and manuscript. Each method has advantages and disadvantages. Every speaker has their preferences, including me. Ultimately, it’s about what you feel comfortable with as a speaker and which method allows you to connect with the audience based on the situation. Let’s look at each method.

Extemporaneous

Extemporaneous speeches are where the speaker relies on using an outline or notes instead of writing out their entire speech and reading it word for word. The speaker usually practices their speech and is comfortable before delivering it when using this method. This is my personal preference when giving speeches. I write manuscripts for others to use; however, I prefer to make a general outline instead of reading a speech and rarely look at notes for myself. Religious leaders, motivational speakers, and keynote speakers often deliver speeches using this method.

Impromptu

Impromptu speeches are given “off the cuff” with little or no time for the speaker to prepare. This is considered one of the most challenging situations in which a speaker can find themselves. In a way, impromptu speaking is something we do every day. We have spur-of-the-moment conversations, job interviews, and question & answer sessions. The difference is that we’re not always asked to address an audience of more than a few people. Some speakers are superb impromptu speakers. My father, a former City Administrator and consultant, can give a lenghthy speech in an organized and effective manner without preparation. Keep in mind, if you’re expected to give a lengthy speech you usually have enough time to practice and it’s a good idea to do so.

Memorized

Speakers can also commit their speeches to memory. Some prefer this method of delivery. I will be completely transparent; you will never see me memorize a speech or recommend that anyone else do so. From my experience, it adds unnecessary pressure. Everything hinges on the speaker’s ability to remember every word. Often, if they forget a line, the speech falls apart, and the speaker freezes. It’s painful to watch and probably more painful to experience. I don’t want to completely discourage you from memorization; I just want you to think long and hard about this delivery method. You may be okay if you memorize a short toast at a wedding. You may not be okay if you try to do so for a 20-minute speech. Make sure you’re self-aware of your ability.

Manuscript

The manuscript method of delivery is the last method we’ll discuss. Simply put, it is where the speaker goes up to the podium and reads their speech word for word on paper or teleprompter. Commencement speakers and politicians frequently use this style of speech. Using this style is adequate as long as you’re comfortable with the material. The only pitfall you have to watch out for is staring at the paper or teleprompter and forgetting to look up at the audience. It’s essential to make eye contact with, engage, and get feedback from the crowd. It’s hard to do that if you’re staring at the text the entire time. You should be okay if you practice looking up and engaging with the crowd before giving the speech.

There you have it, four methods of delivering a speech. Like many other areas of public speaking, the delivery method is driven by the occasion, speech, rhetorical situation, audience, and of course, the speaker. When drafting the outline of your speech, think carefully about the method you’d like to use.

Considerations

If you’re comfortable speaking using just main points on a 3×5 notecard (or no notecard) and have time to practice, consider using the extemporaneous method.

If you’re good at reading but not as comfortable memorizing main points or filling in space between main points, consider using a manuscript. Practice making eye contact, rhythm, tone, etc.

Try to only use the impromptu method if you’re put on the spot (Not everyone can do what my dad does).

Try not to memorize your speech unless you feel comfortable and you’ve done it before. The only time I have seen a speaker absolutely have to memorize a speech was for a class.

Remember, choosing the proper delivery method for your speech is essential. The appropriate delivery method is the one you’re comfortable and effective with.

Meet Your Audience Where They Are: Public Speaking

You’ve probably heard the saying, “meet others where they are.” The phrase is accurate, especially when it comes to public speaking. It took me a while to learn this lesson. I used to try to sound like the most intelligent person in the room to impress others. I did this because I wanted to sound like an expert. In reality, I often spoke above others’ heads, ultimately defeating the purpose of what I was there to accomplish. I wasn’t meeting the audience where they were, meaning I didn’t communicate my message in a way they could understand. It’s not about “dumbing it down.” Chances are, your audience is just as intelligent as you are. It’s about effective communication.

Next time you speak, make sure you meet your audience where they are.

Care

“People aren’t robots, and we shouldn’t treat them like robots. They want to work with, be around, and follow those who care.“

A.L.H.S.

Have you heard the expression, “Nobody cares what you say until they know how much you care?”

I had never heard this saying until recently, but I understood the concept long ago. As a young team leader, I always thought about ways to influence others. I wanted to know what words I needed to use and how to say certain things. Eventually, I had a realization. Every time I’d work with new people, it wasn’t until I had earned a person’s trust that I could influence them. That trust usually came from helping those individuals, often in situations where they didn’t expect anyone to have their back. My influence grew because they knew I cared. That’s when they started to care about what I was saying.

People aren’t robots, and we shouldn’t treat them like robots. They want to work with, be around, and follow those who care.

If you can’t get others to hear you out, maybe you need to show them you care. And remember, most people can tell when others genuinely care and when they are putting on a show for self-serving purposes.

Communicating: Effectiveness Over Ease

There are a lot of ways to communicate. Face to face, text, email, video chat, social media, etc. Simply put, we have options. It’s easy to fall into the “ease over effectiveness” trap.

It’s easy to send someone a text or email, especially if it’s a difficult conversation. Those conversations often go better when held in person or over the phone.

When you’re about to have a complicated or emotional exchange, think carefully about how you choose to communicate.

Keep an eye out for Communicating: Effectiveness Over Ease part II

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